im almost 25, i have adhd. i cant focus on anything, i mess everything up all the time.
im numb all the time, to the point that im not even aware im numb. im so used to it that it is the default for me.
every time i get instrospective i get suicidal.
i go through life, i dont feel like ive gotten anywhere. i have nothing to show for the effort ive put out. i still rent, i pay out the ass in insurance for 2 sub $1k cars that are in poor shape.
i feel like a akward teenager all the time. i dont feel like im an adult. no one treats me like an adult.
i cant hold down a job, every 6 months i get fired or laid off.
im married to someone, and we fight and argue a lot and it sucks. our personalities are too differnet and it makes us miserable. we have no commonality between us. i end up being too blunt and hurt her feelings constantly.
idk what i was thinking to think that i could be functional enough to be in a long term relationship with another person, when i lack so much self awareness, and empathy...to the point if i wonder if im autistic or a psycopath or some shit.