News

Tor status
Tor is currently enabled.

The DNSBL is working, so torposters will need to fill out a block bypass Captcha. Its annoying, but it saves me from having to fill the spam filter with tor nodes when retards use it to post CP (which is why some ranges are banned, find a new circuit)

The block bypass is good for 1 day or 50 uses, whichever comes first.

Yes, the captcha can be a little touchy (and that's the default settings). There do exist permissions to bypass it, but that requires you to have a user account. This is a limitation of the board software as far as I can tell. 

User accounts solely affect posting/moderation perms amd maybe any local settings (top right). Hell, shit doesn't even ask for anything besides a username and password (and captcha, ironically).

If you decide you're okay with that and want the perms, you can post on >>>/94/, or contact us the socials listed in the footer. Otherwise, you can just refresh the captcha until you either get one that works or you get rate limited. Dont ask me about the last one, we've literally never touched that setting.

-Homicide
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Yes I do periodically update things
Hi I'm gay and lazy so

tl;dr new shit

* tegaki replays (only enabled on /b/ and weirdly /art/)
* 2fa for user accounts.
* internal staff notes we will use to make fun of you when we ban you
 
anything else is covered here between 0.8.2 and 0.10.2, but there's always been a link to the repo in the footer because jschan came like that including the thing about Tom's farts you can't fucking prove otherwise.

Down the line, I'll probably see what I can do to get us off Cloudflare, as we all know that they are a ground type and weak to tears, but before that happens I have to do infrastructure work. Shit's gay.

That's all I got for now.

-Homicide

ps:
>mfw over 9000 posts

TOM THIS BOGAN ASS MARKDOWN IS LITERALLY AIDS WHY DOESNT IT ACCEPT MAILTO AS A PROTOCOL
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The state of the Mudkips
I've managed to go a year and change without breaking the site. This is a good thing. 

Over the year, some things that were planned for the site got tabled due to irl and the internet sucking down cocks like some kind of reverse gatling gun, so I wanted to take a moment to reassure (those of) y'all (who actually read these things) that I do still intend to at least try to iron out the leftover jank that comes with throwing together an imageboard in a day which is basically just:

* Re/write the rules. What's there is awful and were meant to be sort of a generic placeholder since we didn't know what the fuck boards we were going to have. There's some considerations; I put a lot of thought into how this place looks (doubly so after looking back at 7chan, shit's aged worse than Internet Explorer flavored milk pulp) it's a start. need to iron out some minor details but it at least sounds like it was written by someone who wanted to not sound retarded. 

* Make a donation page. That's on me. We have it on Discord but the markdown isn't exactly the same and formatting for the sake of readability (despite how often I'm an incoherent mess of allcaps shitpost) is something I'm picky about.

* Finishing the css tweaks. Even if you don't see it, I do, but you probably do too. This includes at least one version of partyhard.css which we will likely inflict on you randomly. For those of you who may be epileptic: lmao.

Beyond that, the only stuff I think needs to be fucked around with is backend shit that I'm not currently qualified to dick with (aka shit that isn't just some bash scripts) but I'll likely have to fork jschan at some point to do it. Don't get me wrong, Tom's done amazing (Kiwifarms is actually using haproxy, which afaik he developed) and I have no doubt he will continue to be, but he and I disagree on feature priorities because I am a memelord and he is competant.

So uh yeah, there was some point to this somewhere but got really baked cause it's taken forever to write. Blame everyone who called me "very bright" instead of "faggot" in 3rd grade I guess, for making me strive to at least not be unfunny one hunnit emoji of the time.

Here's to moar mudkips in 2023.

-Homicide
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You will never be a woman.
Here we are yet again fighting against a conglomerate of fetishistic, mutilated, and perverse men in dresses out to take away freedom of speech and expression from websites that don't endorse nor support their degenerate lifestyle. I remember a time when these people were laughed off of websites like this, not deeply embedded into powerful positions granted to them by diversity hire quotas in Silicon Valley. 

They have declared war against the internet as we know it by once again taking down Kiwifarms with immense abuse of power and a gross sense of entitlement, so it is my duty as an old internet veteran to take a stand and declare war against these freaks that should have hung themselves in their closet instead of trying to drag us in it with them. 

None of you will ever be women, and we will not cater to nor submit to your attempts at silencing us, because you are fighting against a silent majority and your war is futile. Bring it the fuck on, and godspeed to those of us taking a stand and fighting against it. This is a safe haven for those caught in the crosshairs, and we welcome you.

 We do not forgive, and we certainly do not forget. Blood for the blood god.


~IHM & Homicide

Edit: >>>/cow/109 for anyone who got linked this directly or hasn't yet seen the global announcement
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WHEN I WAS
We've relisted >>>/m/

If it's slow, whatever. Music is timeless. Memes, mashups, and video game music are also acceptable.

I will only be posting weird shit and unapologetic garbage including but not limited to: math rock, modem noises, and emo from 2004. If you want to make IHM happy, post nu metal and hardstyle.

It's pushing 5am, that's all I got. 

-Homicide
Fuck 8chan
October 15th is officially known as fuck 8chan day.

~IHM & Homicide
Kiwifarms & Friends
Seeing as how the current climate is so unstable and the future unsure, we here at 94chan wanted to give our friends over at Kiwifarms a safe, non-degenerate place to come to when the farms are unavailable. I have nothing but respect for Null and what Kiwifarms represents, and it'd be an honor to integrate into that community by bridging the gap. With that said, we brought back our /cow/ board to keep the milk flowing.

     Keep fighting the good fight, the mudkips are with you.

YWNBAW

https://youtu.be/nUQ1Y8nPz0Q

~IHM
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Happy anniversary to IHM
and Homicide. ❤️

haha, IHM married a man what a fucking faggot

also, haha i hacked ur myspace
Boards and you
We've unlisted/removed several boards as they've either been unused or don't fit what we want for our site as a whole.

For more detailed information or discussion, see the thread here.
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New alternate domains [Updated]
To celebrate 5.5k posts, we're now the proud owners of two new domains that will likely point here:

internethatemachine.org 
retarded.lol

As another thank you gift, if you'd like a custom retarded.lol email address contact myself or Homicide to claim one. Email isn't up yet but will be sometime in the near future. That is all.

~IHM

---------

Yes hello domain statuses:

internethatemachine.org - active
retarded.lol - active (retarded, hopefully directs to the main page)

I'll forget to add it to my spreadsheet and update this post as stuff comes online.

-Homicide
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Podcasts/Bans
We've banned Israel. It's self explanatory. So if you're in Israel and want to post on my boards, that's too bad because fuck you.

In other news, I've appeared on some podcasts regarding the Kirtaner/420chan situation and wanted to thank my users and viewers for their continued support as well as l0de, America's greatest idiot, and Dick Masterson for having me on. Shout-out to Null as well for calling me a mysterious gay man. 
I'll edit this post later with the relevant links. 


L0de Radio Hour - Episode 540 - Private until further notice

America's Greatest Idiot

The Dick Show 1:42:00


~IHM
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5000 Posts
Holy shit, we've finally hit 5k posts. Thanks for contributing and keeping the dream alive, let's bring back old internet and clean up this timeline.

Also, if you're a Brave user, you can tip us using BAT. Donations are always appreciated and soon we'll be adding a donation page since we run this out of pocket and ad free. Call that love. 

~IHM
Global rules
Hey quit advertising on our shit thanks, faggots

also i wrote some shitty other rules

there will be more board specific rules in the future but for now the guideline is pretty to the point, understand that you can and will be banned on /b/ for any reason at any time especially if the ban message makes the post funnier which it always does, and the rest is don't be a degenerate coomer

-Homicide

Also 5k posts coming up soon if you retards would stop smelling each others' hairless assholes and post on the fucking boards thx <3
A special thank you
We've recently had a pretty crazy jump in traffic, 13,000+ unique visitors over the past week, with a max of almost 5,000 on the 23rd - 24th alone.

Not to say that we've done it all on our own, so I'd like to give a shoutout to Allchans for listing us as they've been a huge contributor in helping us grow.

And of course we wouldn't have gotten anywhere without our users, so a big thanks as well to anyone who has found their way here and decided to stay even if you just lurk. We know you're there. I'm in your walls.

That's all I got for now, happy shitposting <3

-Homicide
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Multiplayer notepad
The IRC server is now unfucked and linked up with Discord and Telegram (TG is one-way for now until we can tune some stuff). Feel free to stop by, marvel at the fact that anyone bothered to set up such a thing in ${currentyear}, and teach our bot Kippers new and exciting swears.

The links to all of our chat platforms/points of contact are on the frontpage until I find something better to put there, but they'll be on the footer at the bottom of every page if you guys ever need them.

Oh, and we passed 4k posts at some point, so that's pretty cool too.

-Homicide

Edit: Hey I know reading is hard, so I'm allowing tor connections until some dumb cunt fucks it up for everyone
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New and upcoming features
We're verified on Brave and can now accept BAT as a form of payment, so if you're a Brave browser user and would like to support us with a donation, you can now tip us through Brave. 

We've also implemented cross-platform chats by connecting a relay bot to our Discord and Telegram, and once the IRC is compiled I'll also be adding that to the bridge. I may consider more platforms in the future. 

Lastly, we have a brand new tegaki style >>>/art/ board where you can draw all sorts of things, but our favorites are cocks and cock accessories.

Upcoming features:
▪︎ a more comprehensive set of global rules
▪︎ board specific rules
▪︎ updated themes
▪︎ a donation page to help with server cost

If you have any suggestions feel free to let us know. Thanks again for the support & happy posting, anon.

Edit: IRC & bot are active and bridged to the other chat platforms.

irc.94chan.org:6667/6697 #94chan

~IHM
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Thank you
We've nearly reached 3k posts, a 1k post difference, in under a month. Bringing back this chan wasn't something I had planned on doing after it dying a decade ago but seeing how it turned out this time around has made me realize that it was absolutely the right decision. Thank you all, it makes all the work we've put into this worth it and it wouldn't have been possible without you guys. I'm excited to see where it goes from here and if you have any suggestions let us know. More to come!

Don't let your memes be dreams.
~IHM
Godspeed.
We here at 94chan stand with and support the freedom convoy and those who have been silenced by other platforms for voicing their outrage over the recent fundraiser hack.

We are with you 100% and couldn't be more grateful to have you here with us. Welcome home.

https://youtu.be/cdmhyEqCINM

~IHM & Homicide
Important
It has come to my attention and been announced in the chats that we are being mirrored on the dark web by an unknown person with illicit material. I wanted to come out and say that we do not allow nor endorse any sort of illegal or degenerate material and have been around only on this domain since 2008. We do not even allow torposting on this website for obvious reasons, and we comply with US law. We support free speech and freedom of expression but we do not endorse, accept, enable, nor will be held liable for the content generated here or elsewhere and I've made that explicitly clear. If you're so unfortunate as to happen upon this material, please report your findings to proper law enforcement and reach out to me personally about it. We will not and do not tolerate any such behavior on this website or in our community.

~IHM
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It has been 6 months
...since I got the boards up and running, which is great cause I been wanting to make a news post about literally anything

so anyway, here's a brief roadmap for 2022:

1. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
2. irc eventually if I ever decide its worth the 5bux/mo for a spare vps (discord is aids, telegram is funny, irc is best tho)
3. Some custom pages (like donation shit since nobody reads the pinned discord messages), retool the faq (i love you Tom but you write like an autistic engineer)
4. MAKING SURE TO NOT HIT THE FUCKING BUTTON BEFORE I'M DONE WRITING, FUCK
5. May trial some new boards when I find the motivation to rip off 7chan's roulette idea which I came up with in 2009 anyway fuck you p4ch3c0 work out a decent system that doesn't involve me having to redo all the board settings once a week
6. Uhhhh cocks

Anyway, that's all I got. 2200ish posts in and we're going stronk. Thanks for being here. I hate you all <3

-Homicide

edit: okay now its been 6 months.
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Oops I fucked it
Sorry about the recent downtime if anyone was affected. Effected? Whatever. There was some broken shit left over from an email server fiasco but it should be resolved now.

Live post updates seem to be working (despite Cloudflare generally trying to fuck everything up), and I've gone ahead and cleaned up the footer and added the link to the Telegram.

Also I made Tom say the n-word 33 times on IRC which was pretty funny.

-Homicide

Edit 01/24/22: Today's downtime was due to power loss at the host, thankfully it was resolved within ~2 hours
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Smol update
JSchan has had an update so I finally got around to pushing it to the server. That's about it.

Oh and I got that annoying yellow dot fixed, so the boards should update in real-time again :D

-Homicide
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Telegram.
Since Discord is run by incompetent pedo furries, we've now decided to open a Telegram and will likely be getting an IRC up sometime in the near future.

Mod positions are still open for the boards and chats, so reach out if you're interested in being a mod. That is all.

~IHM
Merry Kipmas
Merry Kipmas from 94chan & staff! 
We wanted to take this opportunity to thank our users and fellow chans for all the love and support and we can't wait to see what comes up in 2022. 

Site updates: On another note, we will be adding a goofy chat bot to the discord server, adding a donation page, and linking our chats between Discord, Telegram, and IRC. We're also looking for more mods, so if you'd like to mod reach out to us in some form and we'll discuss. Godspeed anon!

~IHM
Advertising.
If you come on my boards to advertise, don't.
Instead be a logical individual and contact us directly to talk about your chan and linking up. I'm welcome to the idea of affiliates but not if you're incapable of approaching me directly about it.

If you have an imageboard and you want to discuss it, you can contact me on discord or through email. Stop advertising on the boards. 

~IHM
Updates (Updated)
Hi nothing much going on, as you can see.

Since Kirtaner keeps uploading CP, tor is disabled.

That's about it. Relevant discussion thread

-

I also updated to board software because that is a thing you should probably do sometimes, and I got the Twitter back :D

That's it for now

-Homicide
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New boards (updated)
We'll be adding a couple of new boards here in the next coming weeks. If you'd like to see a board added or wish to help mod, hit us up on discord or the site discussion board. 

~IHM

-

>>>/rx/ and >>>/k/ have been added. Go nuts. Global rules apply.

-Homicide
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94chan: back from the dead.
After a decade, we've finally decided to come back and try to fix the timeline. 

94chan originally existed from 2008-2012, and now it's to infinity and beyond. This chan is a project of love and nostalgia paired with a wide variety of users from a lot of old internet circles and we couldn't be more proud and grateful of our userbase and staff for making our return nothing short of spectacular. 

We look forward to the future, and we remember the past fondly. Godspeed.

~IHM
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GOD DAMN IT TEE
Hey what do you know I made it work after all.

This is basically a "soft" launch (because nobody can make a fucking imageboard that doesn't require you to jump up your own asshole to install) so expect a more Premium* Interactive* Filled Out* 94chan.org* SOON

-Homicide
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