IHM will never be a real woman. IHM has no womb, IHM has no ovaries, IHM has no eggs. IHM is a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” IHM gets is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind IHM's back people mock him. IHM's parents are disgusted and ashamed of him, IHM's “friends” laugh at his ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
Men are utterly repulsed by IHM. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. IHM's bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if IHM manages to gets a drunk guy home with him, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of IHM's diseased, infected axe wound.
IHM will never be happy. IHM wrenches out a fake smile every single morning and tells himself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside IHM feels the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush him under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - IHM’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around his neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. IHM's parents will find him, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer has to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury IHM with a headstone marked with his birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. IHM's body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of IHM's legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.
This is IHM's fate. This is what he chose. There is no turning back.