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and nothing of value was lost

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Psalm 94

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im almost 25, i have adhd. i cant focus on anything, i mess everything up all the time.

im numb all the time, to the point that im not even aware im numb. im so used to it that it is the default for me.

every time i get instrospective i get suicidal.

i go through life, i dont feel like ive gotten anywhere. i have nothing to show for the effort ive put out. i still rent, i pay out the ass in insurance for 2 sub $1k cars that are in poor shape.

i feel like a akward teenager all the time. i dont feel like im an adult. no one treats me like an adult.

i cant hold down a job, every 6 months i get fired or laid off.

im married to someone, and we fight and argue a lot and it sucks. our personalities are too differnet and it makes us miserable. we have no commonality between us. i end up being too blunt and hurt her feelings constantly.

idk what i was thinking to think that i could be functional enough to be in a long term relationship with another person, when i lack so much self awareness, and empathy...to the point if i wonder if im autistic or a psycopath or some shit.

we had 2 misscarraiges this summer and it sucked.

i quit smoking pot and drinking heavily years ago, and i dont know how because every time i think about it, i feel the need to escape. every day i think about and marvel at how i made it another day that i didnt get blackout the previous night, untill i realize i couldnt afford it anyway.

i struggle with porn, and then i feel horrible horrible guilt and disgust after. i quit it but idk how. its such a struggle.

everything i do is done poorly, everything i do seems to go better when someone else does it.

i hate the goverment, and these hypocrytical monsters destroying everything and making my life harder on a daily basis. fuck trudeau and these stupid pieces of shit finding new ways to fuck everyone over in this stupid country that im stuck in and cant leave.

i just want to disappear and leave it all behind sometimes, but where can i go? its all fucked
>>4959 (OP) 
Wow you're quite at good at complaining but have you tried actually doing something about your issues and not blame it others or other things?
Replies: >>4967
>>4959 (OP) 
You look like a glownigger who just laid out a sympathy bait
Find God, OP.
Replies: >>4966
>>4959 (OP) 
Get medicated.

I got diagosed with ADHD back in high school and hated dealing with it. Couple years back I got sick of getting distracted by and then subsequently frustrated by everything happening within a 10' radius (aka work was crawling), so I hit up our psych and I've been a lot better since.
i am a catholic, i go to church. i believe  in God.

yet i do not have a personal relationship or a prayer life, even tho i have tried to have one.

i didnt blame anything on anyone, so what you say makes no sense
Replies: >>4968
You are a whiny person who writes tl;dr paragraphs online instead of dealing with your shit
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this place is a shithole. wrote a long you. and it deleted it. not doing it again. im with you tho anon. upkeep this thread and ill happily shitpost with you. fuck the haters... theyre either glowniggers or mental cases. best thread ive seen here yet.
Replies: >>5014
Daniel Schaub
Replies: >>5381
Flounder, I think you're just a gay man looking to do gay things in a straight world.
Replies: >>5381
is op here? 

wtf r u talking about anon!?

who the fuck is "flounder"?! he sounds interesting and i want to talk to shit to him but goddamit... this is schizo shit. random nonsense. can we at least make sense for a second?
Replies: >>5386 >>5396 >>5401
Shut up flounder stop pretending to be someone else
Replies: >>5400

Flounder is a vice journalist who has a security clearance and didn't use it to stop the uvalde shooting and wrote a pro Fred Brennan piece in vice.com instead
Replies: >>5397 >>5399
Nobody listened to IHM about Armand/Uvalde but this is a new low
Can you provide sources to your otherwise bald statement?
im not flounder, idk who flounder is
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yes i am here, idk if i cleared my cookies so maybe my ID wont be correct

 i made this to blow off steam because i was feeling pretty low at the time
Replies: >>5402 >>5405
you drew lines on ms paint to blow off steam? Must not have been a lot of it inside the tubes then
Replies: >>5403
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lol no i wrote the original post, the mspaint was a doodle i did when i was trying out one of those bamboo drawing pads
IDs aren't even enabled on /b/
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>>4959 (OP) 
wanna shit post anon? i get you. ive been there. 100% and then some. 

this is a feels thread now btw
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